Tumblr Mouse Cursors
Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there!


misandryad:

People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about lmao
Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.


Catfished in 2014
  • You: babe get on skype im tired of looking at just pictures
  • Fakeass: im sorry babe i dont have a smart phone or wifi
  • You: .....but i met you thru instagram
  • Fakeass: babe wow how could you not trust me?! I thought you loved me
  • You: fine.....but i really cant believe im dating a model from ANTM Season 3 :)))

theladypipsqueak:

salparadisewasright:

theladypipsqueak:

MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.

"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"

a li tter box cae k„

congratulations on turning 91

thanks


beksboys:

"free trial"

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"all we need is your credit card information"

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stunningpicture:

Toasted marshmallow shot glasses with Baileys.

stunningpicture:

Toasted marshmallow shot glasses with Baileys.


deodrant:

you know when ur in a certain position in the car where its like wow if i get in a crash im fucked



moonkistprincess:

"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago